Sunday, December 16, 2007

What comes after a "Goodbye"...

I've been always wondering why people have to leave one day... I would find this world much nicer if a word "Goodbye" wouldn't even exist. For me it's always hard when I reach the end of a relationship, end of the road or when time simply runns out. I ask myself this scary question. "What comes next? Will it be good or will it be bad?" When a person you love leaves, his/her smell still stays on your sheets, it covers your pillow, you still remember where was he/she sitting, how did he/she look like, like it's still here but you know it's not and you simply know he/she is never coming back again and memories hurt the most... You don't need photos to keep your memories alive, you just need your head. That's what Jure always says and it's true. With taking photos we just create an illusion that the person will always be there, it will stay where he/she is, even though we clearly know it will not. This is just a postponed "Goodbye", this way we save some time to face the truth. And when we do, it's no going back. We feel like we died but still breathing, like the world still stands the way it did yesterday with only one change; we're not in it. We're floating on it without a purpose and with no meaning, we are just there. I think that we can never fully recover from the loss even if we try. We can forget or cover our anger, fear and sadness but it always keep coming back. Like a shadow you can't get rid off.

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