Gone...

I was hesitating to write this post. Never found the right words to describe what I was trying to say, maybe even now is not the right time… I'm hesitating with my own thaughts, don't wan't to face the reality. But there it is, folowing me at all times like a shadow. He's gone. Really gone. For the first time of my life I don't wan't to feel anything, just want to forget, walk away and avoid the thaughts that I will probobly never gonna see him again, never be able to laugh at his goofy smile, won't be able to watch him while he sleeps and the worst thing for me is that I will never be able to hug him. He was my best friend, my shelter, he was mine and now everything is gone and I'm just placed back to the start just with a lot of memories. I hope we will be able to talk about it some day, to laugh at the reasons why we broke up… The reasons are meaningless, they don't make sense. I can't believe that it could end so quickly and so… for no reason really. We really had something, some conection, but we were slovly loosing this connection day by day by not talking to each other so often, by having a stressed life… And again this didn't really turno ut like I wanted too, nothing does. For him, I could say, he was realy »mine«. I will miss him very much, he was an important person in my life.