So close but so far away...

And our roles have completely changed. Now you are the one who feels hurt and turns small problems into gigantic disasters. You said we don’t plan together, that was always my line. Maybe „They“ have switched places... As far as I know, my shell has crept a little bit further in my head and I can barely see. I don’t know what’s coming but the cards are on my side... I have a strong feeling that everything will be alright and we will sort things out. All we need is time and we have to want it bad. We can leave the rest to its self. Then I can leave my shell behind for a day or two until the storm comes again...

We are so close, but so far away. And each day we are further away from each other, and the harder it is to get together again. The routine starts to torture us and in the end we are even afraid to face each other and we ask our selves if we are on the right path. We are completely different people when we are together, we feel devoted and so close to each other. There isn’t a single doubt of „Us“ then. When we are apart, we develop a certain way of acting in a way to protect each other from God knows what so we can function in an every day life. It’s hard, we have so much things to do, we live completely different but in the end of the day, we’re happy to exchange experiences from the previous day. We are constantly together in a way, we think about each other everywhere we go. We can’t control it, it just happens... But despite all that, you are worried, very worried. I can sense it. It’s tearing me apart too but I can’t reach you. You are so far away... Nothing helps. I have no power against you. I can just watch and wait. You will come, I know you will. It’s killing me inside, I just want to hold you, feel you and just be close. But you keep pushing me away. I’m afraid of you in some way... You have special power over me, even when we have no contact at all. I can feel you everywhere. It’s unbearable. It never happened to me before. Is it...?