Just walking through time, not dealing with the past. Just walking by everything and everyone. Can there be an end to this? Could it be somewhere, can I change? I don't wait for you, they, them or us to change, just me. Don't want to go anywhere. Don't want to love anyone, don't want someone to love me. Just wan't to be, to be alone with myself. Don't want to tell anyone about anything, don't even want to answer my phone, see anyone. Don't even want to own a cellphone. But I keep answering my phone, talking to people… Why? Do I have to? I really don't want to. I just don't. But they don't understand it. They keep forcing me in relations that I clearly don't want. Just wan't to go far far away. No more exhaustions about all sorts of stuff, I don't care about some girl's pathetic ex-boyfriends or her fat ass. I just don't care… Leave me alone, I don't ask anyone to deal with me either. I don't need to, I can have a chat with myself and when I do, I'm satisfied with myself and relieved I've talked to myself. It's funny but that's how it is. I know myself the best. No one else knows me like that, well there is a person that can come close to that but that's history. He doesn't exist anymore. I have to say goodbye. I will eventually. He doesn't want to have anything with me, when I need him the most… he just doesn't exist anymore. Just have to learn to deal with it properly and understand it for sure. Coming to that… I'm close. I'm going to go away soon, everything will become clear to me there. I will be able to understand life, what it is all about.