Does it sometimes happen to you that you feel a little down for no particular reason?! I do ... Why does it have to be like that?! Then it happens ... I was a good little girl all my life and I always knew what I was doing and why, always obeyed the rules and was afraid to look on the other side, stayed on the safe side of the road...
Did all my chores, studied hard to pass in school and than I just went to the bar, left my boyfriend somewhere without him knowing where I was, with his best friend and got deadly drunk. Got so drunk I hardly remember anything. It happened so fast ... How could that be?! I believe there was a reason behind it all. I wanted to get away from my usual routine just for a second and that is all what is needed with me: just one single moment and I am gone to the dark side. Maybe it was trust; I knew nothing could happen to me, he will always find me and carry me home safely. He would leave later, but I would be safe and sound. He could be mad at me, smash everything around me, but I would still feel safe, because he was there to catch me when I fall.
I still do not know how that happened, although I have a clue. I wanted to let go of everything for that moment and not think about the consequences. There were some repressed emotions accumulating for a long time and maybe they just “popped out”. Not a pleasant feeling, never want to do it again and I feel very sorry. Unfortunately, everybody else will read this but the person to whom this is dedicated.
2 comments:
"Unfortunately, everybody else will read this but the person to whom this is dedicated."
False statement....I read all the posts till today.
Obviously you don't know me so good, that you think..
I guess I don't... (You missed a spot). Does it even matter anymore?! I think I don't even know my self sometimes, I will take the time to met my self first and than give others the chance to know them and them to (maybe) know me...
Post a Comment