Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Gap

There is a great gap between us. I feel anger, despair, emptiness and no way out or nothing to keep us together. We used to have this amazing unbreakable connection between us. No one could enter our world... and then everything went blank and we woke up, knowing that we have this empty gap in our lives. Were things just momentary and honest, true in that point and time or were they just an illusion to create our own world in our heads where no one could enter or even know it ever existed... No one would believe it, even we didn't. It was magical, unforgetable and full of feelings; it was maybe even unrepeatable... Was it really? Could we achieve the same state with just... fresh air? I think we couldn't. We allowed ourselves to taste everything that it has to offer for the price no usual person could take and live with. We are left with great destruction of ourselves and torturing all the people around us. Will we ever be the same? Will it ever be? Imagine that some period of your life just dissapears and you are left with regret, bitterness in your soul and some blury memmories. You have to start over but nothing feels right and you just can't see the point in it. Time flies, i go back and forth... it gets better day by day, then it  hits me again. I calm down a bit, think it over and start again... day after day.
Will you come back? Will the person I have known for years ever come back and tell me a nasty joke and then just laughed at it like it was nothing? I yearn for that look in your eyes when you first kissed me and the things I felt. We just clicked in one moment and it started. It never stopped. I think it never will. It was so good so we spiced it up a bit, that is what tore us apart and left this empty feeling that there is no hope. Even if we go on our seperate ways, there is still no hope. We tend to stay together and survive.
Then there is a question; was it worth it? I will always say it was. Will it happen anyway? It probobly would but our way was unique, special and no words can describe it. 

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